Focus

Yesterday, by divine intervention, I became a God-Mother . . . but as honored as I am by that, that's not the focus of my story. And although I want to go back about 12 years in time and tell you about my God-son . . . he's not the focus of my story either. The focus of my story is . . . no . . . before I get to far ahead of myself, let me first fill you in on some of the details that brought me to this honored day . . . then you will understand the real focus of my story.

Being a God-mother has always been a desire of my heart. Different religions have their own views on dedicating a child to God but as a result of my up-bringing, I was presented to the Lord by my very special Aunt and Uncle. As my 'God-parents' they voiced their 'fear of ' and 'dedication to' the Lord and in essence promised to influence me with that same devotion. I never knew a time when I had anything but a special love and reverence for them. In retrospect it seems that the desire of my heart to be a God-mother may have been born out of this unique bond that I had with them. Now that God has imparted 'God-motherhood' onto me, I thank Him for His glorious gift of that special love.

Now let me tell you a little bit about the joyfulness that is within the creation of my special God-son, Joshua Isaac. Joyfulness, you say . . . how can that be if he never drew a breath or cried a tear? What joy is there in the fact that he never felt his mother's touch? Have I confused you? I don't mean to be so mysterious but the fact of the matter is that Josh's life was aborted and therein lies a web of mystery and denial and regrets. The circumstances that surrounded Josh's existence quickly became extreme as the 'experts' told his parents that he was severely deformed . . . and then, as the complications mounted, they learned that his mother's life was being compromised. I wasn't there at the time but I have no doubt to suppose that the pressure was on. A decision had to be made. Confusion was at it's peak . . . and so Josh's life was cut off and our merciful God ushered him into His loving arms.

Now by worldly standards, the appropriate action was taken but who of us is greater than God Himself? As I understand it all of creation has a purpose. What possible purpose, you ask, could there have been for a life that was so incomplete and what of the life that was being compromised? Well, in and of myself I have no answers - only gratitude that I was never faced with such a challenge. The only response I know of for that question is found in Isaiah 55:8-9 for it is written "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

And therein lies the focus of my story. The answer - not the problem. The answer is in a loving God who carried the burdens that would have otherwise overwhelmed Josh's mother. The answer is in the strength that is given, moment by moment, to challenge the cover-up of this secret sin. The answer is in the compassion and forgiveness and grace needed for healing. Now, 12 years later, a memorial service is held - closure is given - hope is instilled - peace enters the heart as the life of this child is celebrated. My honor was to have been there as a living witness of God's goodness. My honor was multiplied when God laid on my heart the responsibility of being Josh's God-mother. Joy filled day - yes! I had the joy filled privilege of celebrating his life. I have the joy of learning all that I can about him. I have the joy of telling you about God's faithfulness and love.

I once heard a reporter ask Darrell Scott, father of Rachel Scott, the first student shot down during the Columbine School massacre, "How is it possible to endure such a tragedy in your life? Sure of his faith and the unwavering faith of his daughter, Mr. Scott told the reporter, "What you focus on will ultimately consume you." Thankfully the Lord has brought that quote to my remembrance on countless occasions when I was in need. I offer it to you now as I remind you that it truly is all about HIM. Focus on the Answer not the problem.

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