It's My Stuff . . . or is it?

Humbly I acknowledge that the Lord has given me the gift of generosity. I LOVE to share things. I LOVE to give things away. This was a nice quality in me before I was saved but since Christ came to live within me I have a new vision that enables me to realize that my former efforts weren't even close to being all that they could be . . . all that they should be! Now I realize that 'stuff' is just 'stuff' and if 'my stuff' would bless someone else then - to the extent possible - give whatever I can of 'my stuff' to bless someone else. BUT recently, I encountered a scratch of selfishness in what I arrogantly thought of as my armor of generosity. Let me explain . . .

Out of generosity I 'loaned' my umbrella to a friend during a rain storm. There was a need - I remembered my mother's assurance from years past noting that I wouldn't melt - so I confidently offered 'my stuff' in an effort to bless my friend. Two weeks later it rains again (that's what spring is all about, ya know) and after searching for it and wondering where in the world I had left it, I realized that my friend never returned my umbrella. I was no different then than I had been two weeks earlier - I could still prove my mother's statement to be correct - but now I began to think less than positive thoughts about my 'unthoughtful - ungrateful - unappreciative' friend because she never returned 'my stuff'. Now I'm in an uncomfortable position where I have to ask for it back . . . how RUDE! (said completely with tongue in cheek!)

But do you see what's really going on here? My focus changed . . . now it was on me rather than the needs of my friend. I began to justify my thoughts to get 'my stuff' back. It's 'my stuff' - surely I'm entitled to get it back. It's mine and I want it.

Then all of a sudden it hits me . . . my shining armor of generosity has a major crack in it. It was then that the Lord lead me to realize fully that greed had seeped in and that my otherwise noble act wasn't so noble after all. Ashamed, I turn to the Lord and asked Him (I confess, somewhat begrudgingly) to bless this person as she used 'my stuff'. A couple of weeks later I saw her with it and again that ugliness reared up within me but this time I asked the Lord to help ME to be ok with her having 'MY stuff'. And it is then that the Lord's light gave me insight to see that I didn't loan out 'MY stuff' . . . I loaned out 'HIS stuff'! Perspective . . . How crazy is that . . . I was being greedy about something that wasn't even mine!

So where do I go from here? Well, as far as I can tell the Lord hasn't felt the need to prompt my friend to return the umbrella so her blessings continue . . . and what about me, you ask. Well, I have every confidence that the Lord will see fit to give me a brand new umbrella . . . but I suspect that he'll have me wait at least until the two that are in the trunk of my car have seen some action!!!!!

How wonderful it is to have a God who is gentle in His teachings!
Praise Your Holy Name, Jesus!
Amen and Amen.
bo